First bitching of the new year

Ok, had to post this one below the nice happy new year post that I already wrote.........I signed in to vent, but didn't want to be a miserable s.o.b., so I wrote something nice too.



IOWA - WTF. This has been bothering me for a month. They are one of the smallest states, have very few representatives and electoral votes, and don't even know how to F**king vote right! And yet they are the ones that make or break candidacies (sp?), and set the stage for who will become a nominee down the line. And New Hampster - AARGH. Iowa is 30th nationally in electoral votes (7) and population. New Hampster is 42! Washington state, Tennesee and Minnesota all have more political clout than these two states - COMBINED! By the time the primary race reaches my home state, it will be long over - leaving absolutely no reason to bother leaving the house that day. We need to fix this joke of a system. So many states are left out of the process, so much time, energy and money is wasted, it is no wonder more people vote for the next American Idol than the next American President.

Ok - had to get that off my chest.

Next target - my sister in law.

My sister in law has disassociated herself from her family, like I have from mine, but for totally different reasons. And, while I have cut away from my entire family, "sis" continues to use her brother as a substitute father and babysitter for her children for her own convenience. She won't talk to her mother or sister (although she did call her mother one day to ask if she would watch the infant she tried to hide from her, but that's another story), but she keeps her brother on a string, hanging in the middle, to use whenever she needs something.

Since Halloween, we have seen her son, "J" twice - which is twice more than all of the last year. He is growing up, and seems to being taking more of a middle road with his uncle. He used to glower at me and Mrs. PFunk as though we were evil, but he actually stopped by our house to visit on Halloween and was at my mother-in-law's house on New Years Day. This is why I am taking aim at my sister-in-law.

She has 3 kids, and 3 baby daddies. She was in committed relationships with all, but at some point, you have to stop. She gets no support ($) from J's dad, little from baby daddy #2, and lives with #3. She works constantly - to avoid having to be a parent - and alternates between alchoholism and pill popping. When we asked "J" how long he was staying at Grandmoms, he said that his mother kicked him out (he is 14 - I think).

For his entire life, J has had no stable father figure other than his Unch. He went through a period when he was 10-11 when he was a lying and stealing - just the signs of being a nasty, reclusive kid. Definite columbine candidate. His mother has spent her life trying to buy his love and respect and poisoning him against just about everyone else that is his family. Great Gramma tried her hardest to raise him and protect him while she was alive - she kept me from strangling him more than once. Now, he is a Star Wars nerd, but, seems to be a better overall kid.

J was going home at the end of New Years Day, and heading back to school, and I can't help but wonder - is this going to be the new pattern in his life? Even more so - who is going to end up with him? I just have the feeling that at some point, sis is going to kick him out, and he is not going to want to go back (he already said he wished he could just stay at Unch's). Will Unch and Gram take him in, or will I? I have really struggled with this kid - I hate his father and would beat him on site. He has been alternatively spoiled and insolent with me since he could talk, but now it seems as though his is turning a corner and might actually be a good kid. Will Sis ruin him? Will she keep kicking him out, and turn him right back into a columbine candidate? How will he treat people (women, children) as he becomes an adult based on what he sees at home?

I have struggled with J all his life - and now the struggle will be whether or not we can save him.